My Life Is about My Relationships… You will never find yourself in a point in time when the subject of relationships is not an active part of your now experience, for everything you perceive or notice or know is because of your relationship with something else. Without a comparative experience, you would be unable to perceive or focus any kind of understanding within yourself. Therefore, it is accurate to say that without relationships you could not exist at all.
~ Abraham
I was contemplating the ancient teaching of the path to wisdom. Every yoga teacher goes through this. Mid way through this journey, a teacher reach a point of doubt: they begin the question their path, they challenge their teacher and the teachings; they may make radical changes in their lives. Sometimes a teacher may stop teaching for a while or for ever. Other times, they may choose a different “path” and start a new journey all over again.
Several of my closest yogi friends went through the Shakti Pad period in the last year, and I feel that many more will in the coming year. While reviewing my relationship with these people, and all the other people that I know, I came to realize that the 5 stages of the path to wisdom applies in a very real but sutble way to relationships also
I share with you my understanding
The Five Stages on the Path of Wisdom
Stage 1 : Saram Pad.
This is beginner bliss.The honeymoon period. Where everything is new and wonderful. You are a novice. you embrace a new path either though pain, though pleasure or though a calling. As a novice you are given a set of guidelines and rules, because you have not walked this path before. For example: Don’t change the order of the asanas (positions) in a kriya (yoga set); because at this stage you would not understand the effects. There is an element of trust in the teachings. life is fun and full of joy for the new discovery.
In relationships, it’s the stage when you are attracted to someone and you recognize their attraction to you. You follow a set of social rules of engagement, and you trust. It is a new journey and you are a novice. Life is full of joy.
Stage 2: Karam Pad.
This is the stage of testing. action and reaction. You are the apprentice. your mentor gives you challenges. For the yoga teaching, you are over the bliss of what yoga is, now you want to deepen the experience. This is when we start a daily practice, and start doing the 40/90/120 day meditations, start proactively looking for more challenging kriyas, and rather than looking for “nice” kriyas that make us feel good, we look for challenging kriyas that allow us to grow as an individual.
In relationships, this is also a time of testing. And so we begin to see our projections through the reactions of others. We open up and trust and in doing so we allow ourselves the choice of clearing old karam, old patterns, we being to grow in the relationship. You are an apprentice, and the relationship is your mentor.
Stage 3: Shakti Pad
This is the stage of greatest transformation when the apprentice becomes the craftsman. No longer are they given rules by the master. In Shakti Pad an apprentice may stay an apprentice, quit the practice altogether, or transform. It is a test of the ego. In life there are 3 things: Karam, Daram and Param. Karam is action (and reaction), Daram is divine action, and Param is doubt. When we don’t exercise Karam or Daram, we are left in a place of Param. Time has passed, and we start to look outside for external references. Is this really working? Is this the “right” path? I know more that these people! We challenge our teacher and the teachings. It is like the adolescent teenagers, who wants the power and respect of being an adult, but without the responsibility and commitment to action.
In relationships, this is make-or-break time. It’s the time where the relationship can flourish and bloom, or the relationship ends. It’s a time of responsibility, of facing up, of independent interdependence. It is a time of duality and non-locaility: You see everything through 2 outcomes of positive and negative and you doubt your choices. Trust is key here. It is a leap of faith. The rules change, we act on our projections and reaction in others, and start to take responsibility for everything in the relationship. After a period of blaming, of doubt, the blame game finishes, and we start to experience true self.
Stage 4: Sahej Pad.
We get the “joke” now. Life becomes simple. It is the stage of the expert. What you focusses on manifests. Everything you learn you want to teach. You are intuitive. You are aligned with your destiny. Everything has a flow and grace to it. There is no doubt anymore, no question of why or what to do. You just know. Everything you do is aligned with all that you are. Compassion is your highest value.
In relationships, there is an innate understanding of each other. The intuitive understanding of each others thoughts negates the need for mindless chatter and gossip. When one is away, the other can perceive their imminent return. Each are perfectly aligned with each other. Compassion is everything.
Stage 5: Sat Pad
Sat Pad is the stage of the Master. Most people will never experience this stage. It is a state of Intuitive-Intelligence. Yogi Bhajan described it as “comprehensive, comparative, intelligent, intuitive consciousness” We live from a place of divinity, grace, and harmony with the whole universe.
In relationships, it is when two become one. When one dies, the other shortly follow, to re-unite in a heavenly realm again.
I have met only one couple like this in my life. My own grandparents.
Sat Nam Ji.
@cityguyyoga
